Cripes, 2016 - what happened? If you'd told Old Bozzer twelve months ago that Britain would be leaving the EU, Mr Trump would be the President of the United States, and yours truly would be Foreign Secretary, I'd say "Give me a bloody pen! Where do I sign?"
What larks 2017 is going to be. I'm quite looking forward to visiting our new Overlord Trump. We can swap notes on hairdressers. And it'll be a nice change from trying to sell fish and chips to European trade ministers.
The chaps and chappesses at Team Boris are having a busy year too. They're off on tour! Like Caesars of old, they will stride across geographical boundaries like collossuses (blast, too many s's). Unlike Caesar, they'll be wedged into a Ford Focus - but glorious it will be nevertheless! You can find all the marvellous info here.
But before they embark on all those jolly japes, you can catch them at the Library Theatre in Sheffield (20th & 21st of Dec) doing their thing once more - including a preview of "Trump - the Musical!" Reserve your very own seat on the Tickets page!*
Well, I suppose all that remains for me to say is have a lovely Christmas. I'll be fighting over the remote control at Chevening, but I reckon there's a few tricks I learnt at Eton that'll scare David Davis off (head, meet toilet, you get the idea.) And I wish you all an Armageddon free 2017 (though I for once can't guarantee it).
*all seats must be returned after the performance. Fair's fair.